The Butterfly Effect
by ivorymochaa
Summary: In which Kagome tries to finish her English homework and Inuyasha decides to waltz in like a it's a free public catering service. It includes playful, sarcastic banter, questioning fate and expressions of uncertainty, hope, and humanity, but whatever; I'm just the author. Cover art by りり on Pixiv until I have time to draw my own cover. :)
1. How the Universe Sort of Works

**_A/N:_ Hi, this is my first fanfic, and yes, you may applaud. Just kidding.**  
**FYI: My writing is detailed; and depending on the story, is slow-developing and descriptive, as this is _chapter one_. Sorry if you like concise stories. Either way I appreciate it if you read it. **  
**I try my best to proofread, so if you catch any grammar mishaps or have any criticism to share, please do! Thanks. :)**

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There_ are two scientific theories of cause and effect that are often mistaken to be the same thing, yet are in fact opposites in the nature of their concepts. The "domino effect" is the theory that one event causes another which goes on to form a strictly chronological chain of events. On a visual stance, the theory derives from a single domino that knocks over another, which knocks over the next, and the next after that one continues to cause the downfall of the next._

Kagome arched her back against her chair and stretched out her legs, sighing out what could only be the exhausted disdain of the mentally overworked. Here she was, spending over seven hours into a beautifully clear and cool early October evening attempting to catch up on all the work she had missed in school in over a week, frying her neocortex over numerous taxing assignments just so she could at least have Sunday for relaxing. Not that she trusted that part of her brain much, which just so happens to be the part of the brain responsible for emotions, perception, and working memory, the latter which she didn't seem to have. She was a terrible studier, and she would be doing so much better if she could actually learn in class instead of cramming, but of course her reward for risking her life on a regular basis is her crippled education. Oh yeah, that's right, homework! Her very last assignment for language arts was a topic she found rather interesting: writing a detailed paragraph on the difference between two theories of cause and effect. She suddenly remembered what she was doing- curse her slipshod ability to focus- and took a quick glance at the clock. 21:14...not too bad! If she could just finish this within the next five or ten minutes, maybe she could even check out that new show her friends kept pestering her to watch!

_Many people in society tend to look at events in the perspective of the domino theory. However, it is actually the "butterfly effect" that tends to be the most often realistic. Its theory is significantly more complex, but it's basically the idea that a very small detail or difference has the ability to eventually create a significant discrepancy in its initial system. The "butterfly" part comes from the notion that the fluttering of a butterfly's wings may set off currents that will grow into a large storm._

Satisfied with her writing, it was only to her disappointment that Kagome found on her homework sheet that she had missed the last part of the task.

_**c)** What other two concepts that are thought to be opposites do these two cause and effect theories most represent? **Bonus on the graded practice midterm if you get this correct!**_

What the…? What the hell sort of question is this? Kagome just stared at task c as if she'd just witnessed a majestic pony ride a banana split boat into the land of rainbow stickers and colorful candy wrappers, which, if the reader dwells on this description, sounds pretty trippy and extreme for a side affect reaction of confusion. Then she remembered that she does have midterms in two and a half weeks, and that task c contained the very bolded words bonus and graded practice midterm. She was going to figure this out now if her freaking brain imploded, forget about her neocortex! And so began her brain storming as she embarked a grade-boosting journey among the clouds of distorted haze and a chimerical sky adorned with countless dull stars without constellations. Yes, it was a fantastical world inside her intelligent teenage brain that could only be reminiscent of the scientific concept of one's mind drawing a blank. Basically, Kagome had no idea what she could possibly gain from being stuck in the ideal state of "I don't know" if wracking her brains waiting for some answer to form out of nothing wasn't working, and after a good ten minutes of this she was already becoming extremely frustrated, one of the only negative emotions she is quick to resort to. This was only worsened when she was suddenly startled by the sound of her bedroom windows open abruptly, which always made a profound squeak so that it was pretty much impossible to enter her room soundlessly from the window, and there's only one person she knows who does that. Great, just what she needs right now.

"What's wrong with you? You look like you just saw a ghost or something," Inuyasha remarked nonchalantly as he stepped through her window, referring to Kagome's rather paler-than-usual face, wide eyes, and somewhat messy hair. No one really tries to look extremely decent when they're going to do homework all day after school, not that he understood much of anything at all about school stuff, or that he even cared how she looked for that matter. He was perfectly aware that he had unintentionally startled her because of those stupid squeaky-creaky windows, and had only made such a remark just to overtly tease her for his own amusement. It's funny how worked up she can get sometimes, whether it was an eye roll or a bothered glare.

It was at this time tonight that Kagome decided to bestow him the honorable glare of immense irritation, especially because she knew he was being a semi-jerk on purpose, as Inuyasha invited himself to sit on her bed with his legs crossed. She stared at him for a few seconds while turned around in her desk chair before turning her back to him as she started cleaning up her desk, since she really didn't need any of her textbooks anymore for now, and while putting away her history textbook, she decided there would be no harm in at least some social interaction at almost ten in the evening, because why not?

"I'm sorta busy, Inuyasha. How come you're here and not assaulting high tree branches while making dandelion chains in like five hundred years ago or something?" He snorted at this, and she simultaneously could feel him rolling his eyes behind her.

"I think you and Shippou make enough of those to circle around the 1,391,000 kilometer diameter of the sun. Twice." Kagome raised her eyebrows at this and once again turned around in her chair.

"That's one heck of a hyperbole, Sir Smart Aleck. And that was ONE picnic. On that note, would you happen to know where my science textbook has been for the past two days, and why you stole it?" As if out of nowhere, he pulled out a rather thick textbook that seemed to contain the true secrets of How the Universe Sort of Works for dummies, which is what we generally recognize as an Earth Science textbook, in which some semi-important astronomy facts, like the size of the planets in our solar system and that one star they all revolve around, are printed on the inside of the back cover, much like a standard composition notebook.

"You're the one that left it in like five hundred years ago, and unlike you, at least I didn't waste my free time making silly flower chains and actually bothered to bring this to you like a good person. After reading some of the weird stuff in this thing, of course." To be honest with himself, he actually did take it on purpose just before she left just so he could have an excuse to barge directly into her room, but she obviously didn't need to know that. Kagome was pretty sure she saw it in her backpack just before she had taken her leave, but on the other hand, she wasn't about to prod him for any more information than the answer he gave her, since she knew very well he's just as stubborn as she is. She gave him a questionable glance as she took the textbook from him, to which he just looked the other way, pretending to be focusing on the still open bedroom windows. The brilliant reds and sour oranges were muted to grey below the clear black night sky, which was freckled with stars and the soft glow of the moon. Inuyasha actually really liked the moon, it wasn't all in your face like the sun is with it's blinding ego and boiling heat. The moon was Just There, and it didn't mind being that one large rock that did nothing but tell the water what to do. He just really hated it when it wasn't there, and thought it was stupid that the moon just couldn't always be there. Back to focusing on the trees, he noticed that with some squinting, he could actually discern the lemony yellow leaves despite the lack of light, and subconsciously wondered that if he looked hard enough, he could eventually pick out the brown or purple leaves.

"...came here for?"

"Huh. What?" Realizing that he had accidentally spaced out and caught off gaurd, his head snapped up and looked her directly in the eyes with an unreasonably intense gaze. Kagome blinked, and realized she had just forgotten her question within a matter of seconds. In the midst of recollecting her thoughts, she noticed Inuyasha raise an eyebrow, and realized that she had been staring straight at him the whole time, and her face flushed a light rosy color in mild embarrassment. That damn neocortex.

"Sorry, um… what are you doing here at this time?"

"Being here. Breathing. Twiddling my fingers or something." She narrowed her eyes at this. He was being especially sassy tonight, not that she had a right to complain, since he was probably picking it up from her anyway. Along with "Twiddling Your Fingers or Something," mimicking his tone of voice inside her mind.

"You know that's not what I meant. Giving me back my textbook most likely isn't all you came here for."

"I told you- you forgot about it."

"Uh huh, sure. That's besides the point. Am I not correct in this assumption?"

"What do you care? It's not like you're busy or anything." He began to develop a sour look on his face, obviously not appreciating her persistence.

"I actually am, sort of. But you're dodging my question yet again. What do you want?" He's always one tough nut to crack, and perplexingly, this time she cracked it rather quickly.

"So what if it is the only thing I came for? Is there a written law that I can't walk in and return your god damned book full of lethargy-inducing wordy information because, god forbid I even come in for no reason at all! Do you need answers for everything?" His words were thick with sarcasm and held a bitter flavor. Having a reserved personality seemed to be equivalent of a travesty to all of his friends, since one of them ever allowed him to value his own personal privacy.  
Yet, for some strange reason, he felt that he would prefer their nettling, nosy attention then if they never bothered with him at all.

So that was it. Just a visit? Oh. Okay.

Come to think of it, she ended up prodding him anyway after telling herself she wouldn't, how nosy of herself. And he did have a point- she always seemed to need answers from him especially, but Inuyasha is sort of an enigma in his own way, so he attracted questions to himself, though that still didn't justify her prying. And he definitely no longer needed a reason for visiting, they knew each other more than well enough for that. Look at yourself, Kagome, and your occasional ability to empathize with others, why don't you ever do it before accosting people with your nosy antics? She inwardly sighed and mustered an apology.

"You're right. I apologize, Inuyasha, I get sort of nosy sometimes. You're always welcome here."

His expression only grew more sour as he muttered a "keh" and turned towards the window to his left and rested his head on his right hand so he could yet again focus on the evening landscape to distract himself. He found the orange leaves quicker than he expected, or maybe it was just because he felt his face tinting a warm color.

Kagome felt somewhat guilty for putting him in a bad mood, somewhat because he was always in a bad mood, and decided continue talking to him just because it was the only thing she could think of that might actually make him feel less irritated. Maybe.

"Aren't I sort of boring, though?"

Inuyasha didn't shift his position, staying focused on the opened windows. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, don't Miroku and Sango keep you company? They're as busy as you are when I'm not there to travel with you, which isn't very busy at all, and even Shippou just colors and eats snacks, annoying as you may find him. I'm always preoccupied when I'm here, and I can't talk to you much."

He paused for a moment before replying. "Well, I see them about as much as you do, and while I continue to talk to them sometimes while you're at home, they, uh… have their own issues to address."

Although her face took on a suspicious expression, she dared to ask anyway. "Pardon?"

"Sango is still having trouble keeping Miroku from his usual dirty hobbies. I have no idea how it's still working after a month, but they actually still spend a lot of time with each other. And I always happen to run into them half of the time when they'd rather not be bothered, so I tend to avoid them unless they approach me. And Shippou is himself, 90 percent extremely annoying little kid, 10 percent occasionally tolerable." Kagome giggled at this and how extremely predictable her friends are, and the fact that it was adorable how Sango and Miroku's "new couple" antics were still going on.

"So I'm not boring?"

He shrugged. "I would say you're better than nothing. Weren't you 'sorta busy'?"

"Oh, you're right." Kagome turned back around in her chair and looked back at her assignment sheet again, and in less than five minutes she yet again found herself in the ideal state of "I don't know." Maybe she was thinking about it too much. Yes, that must be it. After working for so long it was no wonder she could barely think anymore, she probably just needs a break and then maybe it'll come to her later. It's not like she had any other homework left to do, she thought as she leaned back in her chair, pushing against the wall with her feet so that the front legs would raise about an inch and hit the floor again when she relaxed.

"Actually, I'm really not busy at all. All my work is pretty much done for once, since I've been working for nearly eight hours today."

Inuyasha turned around at this, albeit he was staring at the back of her head, watching her fiddle around with her desk chair. Eight hours of extra work after school following fighting smelly demons and fending off a pompous magic jewel shard whore with greasy tentacles for a week or more? This girl is freaking ridiculous.

"Are you stupid? Do you ever do anything here that's not school or baths?"

"I do, but you usually don't see it when you're here because you're extremely distracting and a total nuisance about 90 percent of the time, and the other 10 percent you don't act like an insomniac and actually take a nap or something." Kagome tilted her chair back a little bit farther before letting the it fall back into its original position again.

While he knew there was a substantial amount of truth in at least the latter part of her statement, Inuyasha didn't let that keep him from countering this, and started off his next remark with a snort. "And you're 90 percent flighty recklessness, if I didn't sit with my eyes half open on a nightly basis who knows what you'd get yourself into, let alone the oth-"

"Hey, I don't get myself in trouble that mu-ah!" This time she had pushed back too far, and found herself falling backwards in her chair because gravity granted mercy to no one unless they had parachutes. For a split second she realized she would hit the back of her head and braced herself for the impending painful impact and feelings of stupidity, which was interrupted by a sudden cease in motion. Eyes squeezed shut, Kagome had somehow maintained normal breathing and a somehow mostly unaffected heartbeat until she opened her eyes and realized what had happened and where she was: she was still sitting in her chair, which was tilted at an approximate 150 degree angle, which was possible only because there were hands grasped on both sides of the back of the chair that supported it at the said same person holding her at this position was directly over her, with the same stark amber eyes looking directly into hers, as if they were about to say something. This instead is what caused the rate of her heartbeat fluctuate so rapidly when she realized it was Inuyasha staring at her so intently yet again. Staring at her. Directly over her. With his eyes.

Oh my god.

Only fifteen or twenty seconds had transpired, which had felt more like an eternity all on its own, if you would allow Kagome to have her own fair share of hyperboles, before he actually did say something out of general concern in the only way he can.

"You need to be more careful, flighty reckless. And stupid." With a look of great displeasure as always, he gently set the chair back its normal position on the floor, and sat back down on her bed, leaving Kagome in a state of of mental paralysis for a minute or so. She then stretched out her legs, stood up, and paused for a moment while looking down at her cleared desk since for whatever reason she couldn't bring herself to focus her vision on anything else, especially him, before saying anything.

"Um, I'm going to go and brush my teeth or something."

Inuyasha, who was again sitting with his legs crossed and happened to be Twiddling his Fingers as a distraction for whatever reason because he couldn't bring himself to focus on anything else, barely heard this as she began to walk out of the room, but nevertheless acknowledged it.

"Thanks for the warning. You might want to brush your hair, too." Tugging her pajama shirt down, which had had been riding up her back from her prolonged sitting position, she was obviously irritated by his blunt comment, muttering under her breath audibly, "Since when did such an arrogant jerkface arrogate that it was his job to be a nagging mother…" This only managed to make him smirk, she was so easily flustered. Not that he wasn't one to mention- he could barely keep his mind straight himself, and it hadn't even been five minutes yet.


	2. If You Add a Cerebral Cortex and Seafoam

_**Note:** Light only illuminates what's really there, but it never actually gives you the answers you need._

It wasn't so much as what had actually happened, but the way she reacted to it. He had only prevented her from stupidly falling backwards and hitting the back of her head. It was a perfectly "okay" thing for a friend to do, and she had acted like she just witnessed genetically mutated fourth dimension cows implode into an atomic phenomenon that created the milky way, which if the reader dwells on it, sounds extremely ridiculous and makes them wonder what silly teenage girl writes these preposterous exaggerations, but of course answering that would break the fourth wall. Inuyasha shook his head, he had to stop reading Kagome's weird textbooks, they were making him think weird things. Not only that, but was he actually still considered just a friend? Even he couldn't doubt that they had been in a relationship for actually a few months by now, which wasn't even the point. How does one even make something "official" or whatever? Do you paint the words "WE'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP" in all capitals with glaring red paint on some fancy fucking legal paper and and glue it on ten foot sticks, waving it around like fools while simultaneously making overt physical gestures at each other? They seemed to have gotten along just fine without that crap, but the both of them still couldn't stop getting all stiff and embarrassed when even just looking at each other in general. But focusing on just this particular instance, maybe she was just embarrassed of her own carelessness combined with being tired from working all day and was just perhaps a little stunned? Ugh, or maybe he's just overthinking this as always. He could bring up the issue to her, but he'd probably just make himself look stupid by asking about something she would probably deem entirely insignificant and pathetic to fret over. See, this was the problem. The fact that half the time he has trouble bringing up this kind of stuff to her is absolutely stupid. This is stupid and you're stupid. In fact, you're even worrying about something that's stupid to be worried about! Inuyasha sighed rather heavily and got up from the bed, knowing that she would probably sit there when she came back, pulling the previously sat on chair up next to the still-open squeaky window, which was next to the nightstand. Of course, instead of sitting on the chair he crouched on the seat and stared out the window, but this time his mind was too preoccupied with hypothetical relationship issues to be trying to pick out the colors in a grayscale window view so late in the evening. And as much as he tried not to, he found himself full out sulking, and it hadn't even been five minutes yet.

The lights flickered briefly as a switch was pushed upwards, as if the light was reluctant to elicit its energy from its circuits and manifest in florescent light bulbs. But they always do that, Kagome thought as she looked up at her reflection in the mirror. Her face was a tired pale color, her hair was plagued by too many fugitive strands that dared to stray from her loose wavy locks, her lips were a duller pink than usual and her eyes, although still a saturated sky blue, seemed almost jaded. But jaded to what? Being tired? Almost dying at least twice a month? Either way, she needed to take better care of herself, she only got six hours of sleep on average, and usually had difficulty sleeping well in the feudal era. She wet her purple toothbrush under the faucet and squeezed a nearly finished tube of Ora 2 toothpaste and began to brush the back of her molars. How could one sleep so soundly in that time period, anyway? The chance of getting attacked by ugly supernatural creatures or smelly bandits there is much higher than in the cozy safety of a warm, securely locked home under a modern constitutional monarchy. She had Sunday all to herself tomorrow, at least- no school, no traveling, electricity, the internet, she was even practically done with her homework! Just the concept of such a day nearly brought tears pooling at the brims of her bottom eyelids… unless, of course, Inuyasha decided to stay and do what he usually does when he stays in her home, which is being a gigantic pain in the neck. She grimaced at this thought and the taste of toothpaste, which was a sign that she had been brushing for too long. After rinsing out her toothbrush and her mouth, she grabbed a hair brush and began to pull the divergent strands back into place. He isn't so bad when he's home, or at least he doesn't mean to be, and from the looks of it, he doesn't really talk to anyone else much while he's there. It's funny, one would think he'd be the type of person to value not being around everyone with his anti-social antics, giving just about everyone the cold shoulder most of the time, and not to mention his inability to trust others. Yet, even among his few close friends besides her that he's come to trust well, even open up to, it didn't stop him from waltzing into her house whenever he liked. But why? Why her? There's nothing special about her, aside from her purifying abilities, but that's nothing new. She shook her head at her reflection. You can't tell yourself that, you are Kagome, no one else. The only Kagome here is you...

Kagome realized just how long she'd been standing in the bathroom, spacing out while staring at the reflection in her mirror that resembled her. She usually doesn't do this, it must be the mental fatigue getting to her… right? She gently shook her head again in dismay at her momentary ditziness. What was she trying to do, figure out the psychology behind the behavior of another individual, fifty percent not-even-her-species or even within her time frame, with her somewhat adequate ability to empathize? Why does she even care? Ugh, you need sleep, she thought as flicked the switch down, and the lights hesitated, but only for a brief moment, as if it was wondering if the lack of light would further shroud her uncertainty, with a blinding darkness. But that's a rather silly thought, since light never really gives you any answers.

Finally having some free time to herself, Kagome could finally start watching that show her friends wanted her to see that was apparently so great or as they had said, "_enchanting_". She grabbed her laptop from the desk and turned the switch on her lamp, which clicked twice before allowing the room to be illuminated in a quiet darkness. One of Inuyasha's ears twitched at this sound, interrupting his daydreaming. Kagome sat down on her bed, leaning against the headboard and bringing the blanket cover up to her waist, and suddenly realized that Inuyasha must have moved from her bed while she was gone. Before she could take a glance around her room she heard someone say her name, and bent over beside her bed to turn on her "book lamp," which was really a dim night light plugged into her wall that she used when reading, met his eyes, and smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry, I nearly forgot you were even here, I'm just going to watch something…" Kagome trailed off as she realized he never had television explained to him, much less the internet, and wasn't surprised when his eyebrows furrowed and a twinge of curiosity appeared in his eyes, although his reply didn't reflect this.

"Whatever, flighty." She knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't last long.

She visibly rolled her eyes at the teasing nickname and opened up her laptop, and started the first episode, and by the time she was eight minutes in, he had already glanced over several times. She paused the video and smirked at him, making a beckoning motion with her hand.

"Why don't you pull that chair up next to me and watch the show with me? I promise you, it's interesting. And for god's sake, use your butt and actually use the chair by si-um, seating yourself on it!" After sighing in relief, he did so, as the seat of the chair happened to reach the same height of her bed, and sat down with his legs crossed as always. Kagome proceeded to tell him that modern society had found a way to create a system that transmits visual images and sound that can reproduce itself on practically any television set that is allowed to receive its signal, and can be used to tell stories, inform people of things like tomorrow's weather, and even teach history or whatever, and you can even use a computer to watch it, like her laptop. It was pretty simple enough explanation for him to understand, though still mind-boggling. She continued to tell him that the show her friends want her to watch is about fairytale characters being real, living in a different realm that has magic, and the're pretty okay until an evil queen casts a curse that erases their memories and fills them with false personas, ruining their "happy endings," and it's up to the main character to break it. This sounds relatively interesting to Inuyasha, and even though he was genuinely paying attention to the show, mirroring her reactions to each event, he kept getting himself distracted, watching her giggle, occasionally catching himself staring at her face in general, her eyes fixated on the screen… he was really bad at keeping his mind off things in the first place, but this is practically embarrassing, seeing as the problem in nature was silly enough to be stemming from his own insecurities! Or could it be hers, also…?

"Inuyasha?"

"Huh? What?" Kagome cocked an eyebrow at this. This was the second time she had caught him off guard, and she wasn't going to let this slip twice.

"What's on your mind? You've been very spacey today, more than I."

"So what? I have a cerebral cortex, you know. Am not allowed to think now?" Kagome's face nearly resigned to a look of indifference, shocked that he had used such a word.

"How much of my schoolwork have you been stealing?" Inuyasha said nothing and kept a straight face.

"...Never mind. Don't dodge the question, I know when you're acting funny, and I don't mean your constant deliberate attempts to bust my chops." He cleared his throat briefly, and quickly fabricated the latter part of his reply.

"The first time I was just looking out the window, that's nothing significant. Just now... I was wondering why you don't watch television in the feudal era." Her eyes ever so slightly narrowed.

"Well, that's because there's a lot of things people in the feudal era don't know how to use or create yet that is necessary to make television broadcasting possible, like electricity, television signals, cameras, animation, computer technology, not to mention no internet to use computers, and you can forget about wi-fi," she sighed and turned her gaze to the side as a faraway look seemed to glaze over her eyes, "People born during this time are so accustomed to these benefits, they become almost a vital part of our society, our lives. And then if all of the sudden you don't have it, and no matter how hard you try, you just don't know what's going on, and you can't do anything about it."

Well, he definitely wasn't expecting something like that to come out. Anyone could easily see the polar differences between his time frame and hers, but anxiety it must cause, the fact that when it comes down to it, you're probably the one that's the most blind, that you don't belong there, must be unnerving. And because he certainly knows how it feels to not belong, _it must genuinely suck_.

Kagome must have realized the empathetic look in his eyes, due to the sudden displeasure that appeared on her face. How could she just let that slip out ? _Ugh, how could she be so stupid?!_ She shook her head and looked at him with sharper, almost diamond-cut eyes.

"This isn't about me, though, You may be telling the truth about the first one, but I know when there's something on your mind, and it's not about television signals. Actually, it is about me, isn't it?"

Inuyasha was taken aback. How was she able to figure him out? She must have noticed his antics while they were watching TV._ Ugh, why is he always so obvious?_ What could he possibly say that wouldn't make him sound ridiculous like he always did in front of her? Oh yeah, there wasn't.

"Well?"

In his last attempt to avoid making a fool of himself, he tried dismissing the value of his own issues.

"It's rather insignificant. It'll just waste time." He knew she wasn't going to accept that, though. Of course she wouldn't.

Kagome's expression became soft again as she tugged one of the front locks of his hair, forcing him to face her.

"Hey, listen to me. Avoiding your problems, no matter how big or small, isn't going to make them go away- you know that already, don't you? And I won't allow them to become stagnant if it has to do with me, most especially if it's about me. Because I can at least help you with something like that." Inuyasha definitely heard her, but all he can really think about in response is the fact that Kagome is less than six inches away from his face, and her bright blue eyes almost glowing with sincerity staring straight into his gave him a strange fluttering feeling really wasn't helping.

Yet, as much as he wanted to say something, he could not manage to elicit any words. The closeness of her face, her eyes which were locked onto his practically piercing a hole in the back of his retina, it made something inside him churn. Maybe it was just his stomach, or his mind that was overwhelmed with a paralyzing mental nausea, a wave of numbness flooding his lungs denying him the air to speak. If it definitely wasn't the same numbness he felt during a fight, mild pain from writhing injuries stifled with adrenaline, then he was at a loss of what he was even feeling for such a sensation to exist. In fact, he shouldn't even be feeling like this; he's seen her face so many times before whilst consumed by every single emotion possible, including the occasional close-up. Yet this very instant, he had nothing to say, no biting sarcasm, no sharp comments, no way to avoid this at all. It could possibly be the fact that there would be absolutely no way his pride would allow him to admit he had been getting himself worked up on his own insecurities as it would contradict his normally arrogant facade, not to mention that the way he was reacting to it right now in itself is already sufficiently embarrassing, but was that really all it took to make him such a mess? There has to be more to it than that, but hell, even he couldn't figure himself out, he was so confused. It's just that she's staring at him so intently and her eyes are so blue and he can't look away and it's so quiet and why can't he say anything and damn it he must look like such a fool right now.

And he sort of did, as his face was stuck in an unreadable expression Kagome couldn't recall having seen before. It almost seemed like he was very confused, his face uncovered by his usual facade, and she thought that maybe she shouldn't have said anything at all, put him on the spot like this. Here comes the passive guilt again.

Trying to once again catch his attention so that she may waive her pseudo-interrogation that he still had yet to even mumble a response, she lightly tugged on the lock of hair she still had in her grasp.

"Inuyasha?"

It almost looked like he hadn't been fazed, but he did hear her. For a moment, he kept his eyes fixated on hers with the same expression, this time almost looking as if he was about to say something. Then all of a sudden, something bubbled over like fizzling, lingering seafoam, something that he couldn't quite explain, but it settled like a rock at the bottom of his gut, and it consumed whatever hesitation that had previously chained him to numbness.

Strangely, Kagome's face remained unchanged as a moderately decreasing three inches were left between them, as if she didn't realize what was happening. She only partially did.

Then two, then one.  
A mid October breeze casually rustled the bruised and dying leaves still clinging to the bark, that one tiny twiggy branch, as if holding on for dear life. None of them seem to want to join the others on the ground, although it is a most beautiful fate to be bound to.

Then nearly zero.  
The tree is all the leaves have ever known as home, after all.  
But the tree changes, too.

Then absolute zero occurred.  
Coincidentally, the cold air from the Autumn breeze whispered past the open window, and so did a single red leaf.  
.


	3. Fate is Like Spilled Milk and Cop-Outs

**I am apologizing three times in this author's note.**

**I apologize for the one-month gap on a sort-of-subtle cliffhanger; I've had 75% of this chapter written for three weeks but I have art homework I've been procrastinating on so... :'D**

**I am sorry/not sorry for any astronomy references; I...am all kinds of geek, and vast space is included. Bye.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading as always, and I apologize for any weird-sounding metaphors. Since this is my first fanfic, this is sort of a dialogue-heavy warm up and I'm just trying out different descriptions and such. Again, critiques/reviews are always welcome.**

**Spring break starts on 4/11 for me so hopefully I can end this story sometime soon, as it only has a chapter or two left.**

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_**Note:** The Universe was, is, and always will be full of cop-outs. Too many things go both ways and everyone who knows this thinks it's weird._

Kagome, to say in the least, was shocked, caught off guard. As her heart began to flutter rapidly, her hand let go of his hair, and curling loosely into a fist and hovering just below her collarbone, over her chest, she realized she was faintly trembling. Whether it was from cold or something else entirely, perhaps even both, she could not discern. The brittle, cold sensation known as nervousness was only augmented by the chilly air settling into the room, with traces of frustration creeping up her neck. She still had no idea what was bothering him so persistently, and this was an answer? Yet another thing she didn't understand was why she was so nervous, why her fingers and cheeks were tingling and how she could feel so warm and cold at the same time. So she sat there, perplexed and frozen, unable to gather the cognition to react, even though she wanted to.

When Inuyasha pulled away from her, a short kiss that had only lasted a fourth of a minute but seemed to have lasted a small eternity on its own, he promptly turned away from her in his chair to avoid eye contact. His cheeks and ears, which were flat against his head, were nearly vermillion as he began to reconsider what he'd just done, immediately regretting the result of his impulsivity, which often worked well as one of the notable characteristics of his personality, such as during a battle. But this wasn't about bloodshed or not dying, it was mostly about himself and the girl he just liplocked, with extraneous emphasis on that last word. You can't just do that without warning- can you? He had no idea of knowing, he'd never actually initiated one! The verdict was clear, _she doesn't like you now/anymore_ or perhaps more likely the _get out of here what's wrong with you._ In fact, before she could say anything like that which would emotionally dig his grave and burn any pride he had left in the closest metaphorical fire, he should probably leave as soon as possible.

Kagome was halfway detached from the reality of what had just happened, focused on the small vermillion leaf, illuminated by the moonlight cascading from the window. Only her hands still tingling, yet her face still flushed, she realized something. Maybe she had only been nervous because she hadn't understood at all? She already knew she loved him, and he maybeprobably did too, because they had shown it perhaps on more than a few occasions, not to mention what he did just now. And while they never needed to make it socially official, they had never actually...admitted it to each other, right? Maybe they didn't need to, yet there was still this unexplained hesitance between them when they became close, even with no one else around. He could have just said that instead of leaving her stunned like that.

Or perhaps he just did, in his own way.

After all, Inuyasha was never one for words. And she was better at using words. Oh.

Her thoughts were then interrupted by a rustling of movement. Inuyasha then barely muttered a single word, so nearly inaudible that Kagome would have missed it had he said it a moment earlier in the midst of her thoughts.

"Sorry." He began to move to get up from the chair he had been seating himself on, to be anywhere but here right now. Hells, he's such an idiot, making a fool of himself like th-

A hand grasped his, and unconsciously his arm stiffened and his fingers tingled. Oh, great. if it hadn't been for the lack of sufficient light in the room, Inuyasha may not have even dared to turn his head even slightly towards the opposing force.

In the corner of his eye- a placid, kind face. She could see the lingering apprehension in his.

"I'm not angry at you, Inuyasha. Come, sit down." And he did, though the color of his cheeks and ears didn't change, and though his body was turned towards her, he didn't dare do the same with his face, looking down the hands resting on his lap, which helped no better. She still hadn't let his hand out of her grasp.

She giggled, and Inuyasha's ears flicked in response at the sudden sound stimulant, clearly irritated. "What do you find so funny?" He didn't sound angry, but the words nearly came out like a low growl.

"It's just," Kagome smiled at him, slightly lowering her face accordingly so he could see it at the edge of his vision, "You look just like that little red leaf over there."

Inuyasha turned around briefly, catching a glimpse of the said leaf. Freshly carried away by a spoiled breeze that never had its fill of tearing leaves by the stems, its branching veins still pulsed with life. Its unhesitatingly vibrant shade of red made up for its humble size and uneven, jagged shape, which most resembled a star.

"Do you know what the red Doppler shift is?" She very lightly squeezed his hand, as if to get his attention from behind him. He couldn't quite remember, although he knew he had read something of it before. Wavestrengths or something? Wait, no, that's definitely not it.

"I don't think so…" He said this without turning back to face her, preferring his eyes the company of a leaf.

"In space, redshift happens when light or say some other electromagnetic radiation from an object that is moving away increases its wavelength. It also supports the fact that the universe is still expanding. Do you know what I'm getting at?" He remembered what she was talking about, however, he hadn't the slightest of idea what she meant by it, so he just stayed quiet and shook his head.

"In other words, that leaf was once just like the others, stemmed to the same branch of the same tree for months. Yet, instead of following the same path as the other leaves, laid out by that one wind, by coincidence it traveled wayward into my room, all alone. Or perhaps," She chose this moment to let go of his hand, the sudden lack of heat hissing at his fingertips, "it wanted to be farther away, not left to be consumed by the other leaves." A single canine ear swiveled towards the sound of her voice at that statement. Having regressed to not having any part of him physically face her at all again, he began to understand some of what she was saying. Whether subconsciously or not, he purposely pushed away others, didn't trust them, in order to avoid any negative infliction, such as betrayal or hatred. But he must be missing something. What was the opposite of the redshift?

Of all people, he probably trusted her the most. He really wanted to turn around again, to face her. But he couldn't bring himself to meet her blue eyes. Then he realized something, though it wasn't necessarily what Kagome was trying to insinuate.

"Are you saying...you're the blueshift?"

Kagome felt her cheeks become a little warm. While it was flattering to be recognized by him as such a metaphor, since she never really realized herself how people seemed to gravitate towards her. However, that wasn't what she had been trying to get at.

"Th-that's nice of you to say, but… no, not quite," she cleared her throat to continue, seeing as he had yet to catch her gist, "The red leaf was determined to travel a different wavelength than the other leaves, to lead a different fate. In other words, correct me if I'm wrong, not many half demons survive in the Feudal Era, right?"

"No, I wouldn't think so."

"I'm pretty sure it goes without asking that you wanted to survive then," she continued after he nodded, "You were determined to not be dealt the same fate, and you certainly weren't, whether it was by sheer luck or will. Or both, most likely. Just like that leaf didn't join the decomposing, browning pile at the roots of a tree." He finally understood what she was saying, but had difficulty agreeing with her.

"I would still be sealed to that tree if you hadn't time traveled and pulled that arrow."

She bit her lip and thought for a moment. "True, but...I still wasn't not there. What matters is that I was there, inadvertently breaking the seal fate had supposedly attempted to ensnare you with, and yet you also could have given up before, a long time ago. But the reality is that you can't change the fact that I was pulled down a mildew-crusted well by an unsightly braless insect demon because I wanted to find my cat, nor the fact that there was no way I wouldn't have wanted to dislodge a projectile protruding from your chest unless I actually desired death by being crushed. Either way, your life is now dramatically different because of things that happened that couldn't not happen."

He exhaled a breath of laughter, brief and quiet. Despite her bold stubborn shouts and occasional (though he'd rather say often) irritated exclamations, her words were at least eloquent when it mattered, a wedding cake of layered, unwavering passion, unlike himself. Something was still amiss, though, and it was a question so simplistic and harmless yet it tugged at his head, stomach, and heartstrings with an unbridled rapture as he said it, and it nearly stumbled with his breath and the clunky sound of his voice, a gentle yet masculine tone almost audibly quavering with uncertainty. He finally turned to face her for just those few scattered words, pieced together awkwardly and honestly with piercing eyes that stared in only her direction. They were often an Earthy amber, she observed, but they seemed almost a glaring yellow now, a steady intensity.

"Do you think fate exists?"

Out of all the things he could of said, she least expected this one. It seemed like an almost out of place question for someone like him to ask, and it was a question that twisted at the bottom of her gut, made her heart flutter like a cloud-dipped hummingbird. However, it wasn't as much as she lacked an idea of how to answer as much as it was that _she didn't know what he meant by it_. She had in fact contemplated such a question many times to herself before after that first fall down the well, after all, they were traveling all over the Feudal Era to _change fate_. Her words collected in a flurry behind her tongue, and when she spoke there was no hiding of the obvious twinkle in her eye as she spoke.

"Well, the thing is, I'm a cop-out. I do and I don't." Inuyasha only grew more perplexed by this statement as her mouth gave a slight smile.

"Fate did stop my life from being what one would say "normal," but all the same it's malleable and the choices we make are ours. Fate is a given. We must feel pain, we must die, and we can't change what has already happened. But, we can change what's going to happen before it does. We can choose who or what will bring us happiness or sadness, and we can do a lot before we die. I don't and probably never will know whether I'm right or not, but I believe that both must exist."

Inuyasha stared at her dumbfounded for a few seconds; this answer didn't exactly answer the question behind the wrapper he had so tactfully covered it in, sort of. He really wasn't that great at asking anything indirectly in the first place, but was he really going to let himself ask her if she thought they were meant to meet each other? Of course not, that would be significant of him needing someone to reassure him of security. She may not be mad at him, but she hadn't actually said anything obvious; as she didn't exactly kiss him back, either. _So what was she trying to say?_ Of course, he had no idea, so before Kagome could plague him with another questioning look he decided to dismiss his silly uncertainties with a monotone mutter.

"Oh. I see." Brilliant reply, just brilliant. You've outdone yourself this time.

As she watched him turn to his side to look out the window again and think about who knows what, Kagome couldn't help but be utterly perplexed herself yet again. If the somewhat vague but straight answer didn't actually answer his question, then what did he actually want her to talk about and why was he being so damn difficult about it? Granted, she was no psychologist, but his mind was like a starry night sky cloaked by the whisp of a filmy fog that hissed contempt at revealing the faintest glints of light. That didn't deter her from trying, though.

"What about you- do you believe in fate?" This made him stir a bit, change his gaze from the still gaping mouth of the window to the nuanced crevices on the hardwood floor. He stared at the buffered imperfections as if one of them would split open and expand at any moment, exposing the unreality of a syrupy, bitter darkness that partially concealed itself in this dimly lit room, scorching with unfamiliar dots of a pasty, slight glimmer, and he would fall into it, breathless and lost like the void behind the teeth of that window, unable to see her. For some strange reason, he knew that he'd never want to reach out towards those dots if it meant accepting the familiarity of the somber, acidic truth. It was a lingering contradiction that constantly meandered in his mind, stale and painful, but not as much as it felt to have the unsevered obligation to answer her properly such a crumbling question for him.

"I… suppose I have no choice but to agree with you," a glint of vitality was briefly present in his eyes as he glanced at her from the corner of his eyes, "You see, I'm a cheater. For the most part, I've managed to evade it up until now besides the lucky breaks and the corners I've cut. Other than the self-accomplishment of not ending up like most of everyone else like me with scarcely any help, it's also what we're fighting to do right now. So in all honesty I'd prefer not to even take fate with a grain of salt, but really, there are more than a few incidents that threaten that resolve, including myself. Um, namely you, for instance. Miroku's curse that both his father and grandfather could not escape,the tragedy of Sango's entire village and her family…" He trailed off, his eyes still boring into the musty, dull floor.

"But how does that have anything to do with you?"

"It's an extremely selfish reason. There are many things, too many I can count myself, I could have done differently if I hadn't been so oblivious, or if I had done something sooner, questions I could have asked. I never actually forget them, they just stay stagnant, and a day usually doesn't go by that I don't for at least a fraction of a moment feel a pang of pungent regret for one of them. Then sometimes I catch myself thinking that if fate exists, there's nothing I could have done about it anyway, because no matter what I could have tried, it had already happened anyway. And it somehow it's not as much of my fault anymore; I'm less guilty. It makes it easier to deal with, y'know? But then I realize what a self-centered, shallow idea that is, how utterly contradictory I'm being, and it's disgusting. But without it that means I wouldn't have met you and the others, as annoying as you all are; so I don't even know which one I want to accept either. So I believe the same thing you do, because I have to."

Because he wasn't used to saying such personal things, he felt a nervous shiver linger on the back of his neck and hands, his body stiff and barely breathing. The intoxicating silence in the room poisoned their minds with an incessant chatter laden heavy with the genuine, melancholy boundlessness of each other's words, cut into fragments that minced their sentences before they could form. This left them speechless and bewildered; and it wasn't until the warmth reached his body and the sound of her airy, potent voice wafted to the tips of his ears did Inuyasha notice that Kagome was sitting right next to him on the chair.

"That is a very normal, human thought. And before you tell me that you dislike associating yourself with human qualities, I don't think I have to tell you that there aren't many full demons that don't suck. And by suck I mean something along the lines of highfalutin sadist or apathetic murderer. And yes, you are often a full serving of impulsive jerk with an occasional side of selfi-"

"You are not helping."

"You didn't let me finish. For the most part you're pretty decisive, so I understand when you contradict yourself or can't decide on something it must bother you a lot. But the reality is, it's not an easy question, and for someone with experiences like yours it's even harder; and you're not truly any of those things you listed. If you were so shallow, you wouldn't be questioning your own resolve and would only look at things at surface value, and if you were really so self-centered you wouldn't be risking your life to save people like me or would completely disregard the feelings or value of other people if it wouldn't end in your own benefit. As far as selfishness goes, I really don't think you're much like that at all anymore."

He looked down at the palms of his hands and left his mind to ponder the blankness of them. If he thought anything else, she saw it through the dusky blue prisms of her eyes- she would dissect his thoughts like light and he didn't want her to see any of that. Right now he just needed to see the ghostly lines that criss-crossed his palms and rough calluses on his fingertips and knuckles; he had said too much already, and maybe if he dismissed the intricacy in his hands, as if they really were blank, she wouldn't see him either.

"You can stop that, you know." Her voice was quiet and unsettling, though she wasn't looking at him despite her sitting next to him.

"What is there to stop?"

She ignored his blatant tone of irritation, and paused for a brief moment before continuing.

"That apathetic "tough guy" act. You know it never worked very well on me, anyway."

He doubted whether she ever really believed it in the first place. He didn't know what to say, if he could say anything, because she was right and he didn't want her to be, and he couldn't let himself say any more than he already has, yet here she was, cutting down his sentences to a reluctant mutter.

"I can't."

He watched Kagome from the corner of his eye and saw her shoulders heave as he heard her sigh, brushing her bangs back and following her hand through to the back of her head, disturbing the conformity of her detangled hair. Her bangs stuck up from her forehead as she seemed to be in thought, which he thought looked looked sort of cute, not that he'd ever tell her that. He looked away from her again, wondering which one he'd prefer- as much as he wanted to, and for the most part did, believe in free will- he couldn't deny that it was fate that had brought her to him, and he couldn't help but wonder if she thought that too, as corny as it sounded. _But how the hell would he ask her that? "Do you think we were meant to meet each other for a reason?" Oh god, the actual sentence in his head was worse than just the concept of asking it._

He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he almost didn't realize it when her arms wrapped around his torso from behind him, hugging him from the side with her cheek pressed against his shoulder. Her sentences came out soft and thick with an undertone of soreness, but if it was from a slight heartbreak or exhaustion he wasn't sure.

"Inuyasha, you're always so hard yourself...don't let it eat at you like this, because you can't do everything. What you've been able to do far outweighs what you haven't."

And with that his stiff countenance that he constantly sheltered himself behind temporarily melted under her voice that spilled like milk over the remains of a shattered glass.


End file.
